Ada or Ardor: A Family Chronicle Part 2, Chapter 11 (view annotations) |
11 |
The dragon drug had worn off: its aftereffects are not pleasant, | |
combining as they do physical fatigue with a certain starkness | |
of thought as if all color were drained from the mind. Now | |
clad in a gray dressing gown, Demon lay on a gray couch in | |
439.05 | his third-floor study. His son stood at the window with his |
back to the silence. In a damask-padded room on the second | |
floor, immediately below the study, waited Ada, who had ar- | |
rived with Van a couple of minutes ago. In the skyscraper | |
across the lane a window was open exactly opposite the study | |
439.10 | and an aproned man stood there setting up an easel and cock- |
ing his head in search of the right angle. | |
The first thing Demon said was: | |
“I insist that you face me when I’m speaking to you.” | |
Van realized that the fateful conversation must have already | |
439.15 | started in his father’s brain, for the admonishment had the ring |
of a self-interruption, and with a slight bow he took a seat. | |
“However, before I advise you of those two facts, I would | |
like to know how long this—how long this has been...” | |
(“going on,” one presumes, or something equally banal, but then | |
439.20 | all ends are banal—hangings, the Nuremberg Old Maid’s iron |
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white, very limp, very damp hands adorned with rutilant gems. | |
His mistress soon left him. Dr. Lapiner died in 1872. About the | |
same time, the Baron married an innkeeper’s innocent daughter | |
and began to blackmail Demon Veen; this went on for almost | |
441.05 | twenty years, until aging Miller was shot dead by an Italian |
policeman on a little-known border trail, which had seemed to | |
get steeper and muddier every year. Out of sheer kindness, or | |
habit, Demon bade his lawyer continue to send Miller’s widow | |
—who mistook it naively for insurance money—the trimestrial | |
441.10 | sum which had been swelling with each pregnancy of the |
robust Swissess. Demon used to say that he would publish one | |
day “Black Miller’s” quatrains which adorned his letters with | |
the jingle of verselets on calendarial leaves: | |
My spouse is thicker, I am leaner. | |
441.15 | Again it comes, a new bambino. |
You must be good like I am good. | |
Her stove is big and wants more wood. | |
We may add, to complete this useful parenthesis, that in early | |
February, 1893, not long after the poet’s death, two other less | |
441.20 | successful blackmailers were waiting in the wings: Kim who |
would have bothered Ada again had he not been carried out of | |
his cottage with one eye hanging on a red thread and the other | |
drowned in its blood; and the son of one of the former em- | |
ployees of the famous clandestine-message agency after it had | |
441.25 | been closed by the U.S. Government in 1928, when the past |
had ceased to matter, and nothing but the straw of a prison- | |
cell could reward the optimism of second-generation rogues.) | |
The most protracted of the several pauses having run its dark | |
course, Demon’s voice emerged to say, with a vigor that it had | |
441.30 | lacked before: |
“Van, you receive the news I impart with incomprehensible | |
calmness. I do not recall any instance, in factual or fictional life, | |
of a father’s having to tell his son that particular kind of thing |
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in these particular circumstances. But you play with a pencil | |
and seem as unruffled as if we were discussing your gaming | |
debts or the demands of a wench knocked up in a ditch.” | |
Tell him about the herbarium in the attic? About the in- | |
442.05 | discretions of (anonymous) servants? About a forged wedding |
date? About everything that two bright children had so gaily | |
gleaned? I will. He did. | |
“She was twelve,” Van added, “and I was a male primatal | |
of fourteen and a half, and we just did not care. And it’s too | |
442.10 | late to care now.” |
“Too late?” shouted his father, sitting up on his couch. | |
“Please, Dad, do not lose your temper,” said Van. “Nature, | |
as I informed you once, has been kind to me. We can afford to | |
be careless in every sense of the word.” | |
442.15 | “I’m not concerned with semantics—or semination. One |
thing, and only one, matters. It is not too late to stop that | |
ignoble affair—” | |
“No shouting and no philistine epithets,” interrupted Van. | |
“All right,” said Demon. “I take back the adjective, and I | |
442.20 | ask you instead: Is it too late to prevent your affair with your |
sister from wrecking her life?” | |
Van knew this was coming. He knew, he said, this was com- | |
ing. “Ignoble” had been taken care of; would his accuser define | |
“wrecking?” | |
442.25 | The conversation now took a neutral turn that was far more |
terrible than its introductory admission of faults for which our | |
young lovers had long pardoned their parents. How did Van | |
imagine his sister’s pursuing a scenic career? Would he admit it | |
would be wrecked if they persisted in their relationship? Did | |
442.30 | he envisage a life of concealment in luxurious exile? Was he |
ready to deprive her of normal interests and a normal marriage? | |
Children? Normal amusements? | |
“Don’t forget ‘normal adultery,’” remarked Van. | |
“How much better that would be!” said grim Demon, sitting |
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on the edge of the couch with both elbows propped on his | |
knees, and nursing his head in his hands: “The awfulness of the | |
situation is an abyss that grows deeper the more I think of it. | |
You force me to bring up the tritest terms such as ‘family,’ | |
443.05 | ‘honor,’ ‘set,’ ‘law.’...All right, I have bribed many officials |
in my wild life but neither you nor I can bribe a whole culture, | |
a whole country. And the emotional impact of learning that for | |
almost ten years you and that charming child have been de- | |
ceiving their parents—” | |
443.10 | Here Van expected his father to take the “it-would-kill-your- |
mother” line, but Demon was wise enough to keep clear of it. | |
Nothing could “kill” Marina. If any rumors of incest did come | |
her way, concern with her “inner peace” would help her to | |
ignore them—or at least romanticize them out of reality’s reach. | |
443.15 | Both men knew all that. Her image appeared for a moment |
and accomplished a facile fade-out. | |
Demon spoke on: “I cannot disinherit you: Aqua left you | |
enough ‘ridge’ and real estate to annul the conventional punish- | |
ment. And I cannot denounce you to the authorities without | |
443.20 | involving my daughter, whom I mean to protect at all cost. |
But I can do the next proper thing, I can curse you, I can make | |
this our last, our last—” | |
Van, whose finger had been gliding endlessly to and fro along | |
the mute but soothingly smooth edge of the mahogany desk, | |
443.25 | now heard with horror the sob that shook Demon’s entire |
frame, and then saw a deluge of tears flowing down those | |
hollow tanned cheeks. In an amateur parody, at Van’s birthday | |
party fifteen years ago, his father had made himself up as | |
Boris Godunov and shed strange, frightening, jet-black tears be- | |
443.30 | fore rolling down the steps of a burlesque throne in death’s total |
surrender to gravity. Did those dark streaks, in the present show, | |
come from his blackening his orbits, eyelashes, eyelids, eye- | |
brows? The funest gamester... the pale fatal girl, in another | |
well-known melodrama.... In this one. Van gave him a clean |
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handkerchief to replace the soiled rag. His own marble calm | |
did not surprise Van. The ridicule of a good cry with Father | |
adequately clogged the usual ducts of emotion. | |
Demon regained his composure (if not his young looks) and | |
444.05 | said: |
“I believe in you and your common sense. You must not | |
allow an old debaucher to disown an only son. If you love her, | |
you wish her to be happy, and she will not be as happy as she | |
could be once you gave her up. You may go. Tell her to come | |
444.10 | here on your way down.” |
Down. My first is a vehicle that twists dead daisies around its | |
spokes; my second is Oldmanhattan slang for “money”; and | |
my whole makes a hole. | |
As he traversed the second-floor landing, he saw, through the | |
444.15 | archway of two rooms, Ada in her black dress standing, with |
her back to him, at the oval window in the boudoir. He told a | |
footman to convey her father’s message to her and passed al- | |
most at a run through the familiar echoes of the stone-flagged | |
vestibule. | |
444.20 | My second is also the meeting place of two steep slopes. |
Right-hand lower drawer of my practically unused new desk— | |
which is quite as big as Dad’s, with Sig’s compliments. | |
He judged it would take him as much time to find a taxi at | |
this hour of the day as to walk, with his ordinary swift swing, | |
444.25 | the ten blocks to Alex Avenue. He was coatless, tieless, hatless; |
a strong sharp wind dimmed his sight with salty frost and | |
played Medusaean havoc with his black locks. Upon letting | |
himself in for the last time into his idiotically cheerful apart- | |
ment, he forthwith sat down at that really magnificent desk | |
444.30 | and wrote the following note: |
Do what he tells you. His logic sounds preposterous, | |
prepsupposing [sic] a vague kind of “Victorian” era, as | |
they have on Terra according to “my mad” [?], but in a |
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paroxysm of [illegible] I suddenly realized he was right. | |
Yes, right, here and there, not neither here, nor there, | |
as most things are. You see, girl, how it is and must be. In | |
the last window we shared we both saw a man painting | |
445.05 | [us?] but your second-floor level of vision probably |
prevented your seeing that he wore what looked like a | |
butcher’s apron, badly smeared. Good-bye, girl. | |
Van sealed the letter, found his Thunderbolt pistol in the | |
place he had visualized, introduced one cartridge into the maga- | |
445.10 | zine and translated it into its chamber. Then, standing before |
a closet mirror, he put the automatic to his head, at the point | |
of the pterion, and pressed the comfortably concaved trigger. | |
Nothing happened—or perhaps everything happened, and his | |
destiny simply forked at that instant, as it probably does some- | |
445.15 | times at night, especially in a strange bed, at stages of great |
happiness or great desolation, when we happen to die in our | |
sleep, but continue our normal existence, with no perceptible | |
break in the faked serialization, on the following, neatly pre- | |
pared morning, with a spurious past discreetly but firmly at- | |
445.20 | tached behind. Anyway, what he held in his right hand was no |
longer a pistol but a pocket comb which he passed through his | |
hair at the temples. It was to gray by the time that Ada, then in | |
her thirties, said, when they spoke of their voluntary separation: | |
“I would have killed myself too, had I found Rose wailing | |
445.25 | over your corpse. ‘Secondes pensées sont les bonnes,’ as your |
other, white, bonne used to say in her pretty patois. As to the | |
apron, you are quite right. And what you did not make out was | |
that the artist had about finished a large picture of your meek | |
little palazzo standing between its two giant guards. Perhaps for | |
445.30 | the cover of a magazine, which rejected that picture. But, you |
know, there’s one thing I regret,” she added: “Your use of an | |
alpenstock to release a brute’s fury—not yours, not my Van’s. | |
I should never have told you about the Ladore policeman. You |
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should never have taken him into your confidence, never con- | |
nived with him to burn those files—and most of Kalugano’s | |
pine forest. Eto unizitel’no (it is humiliating).” | |
“Amends have been made,” replied fat Van with a fat man’s | |
446.05 | chuckle. “I’m keeping Kim safe and snug in a nice Home for |
Disabled Professional People, where he gets from me loads of | |
nicely brailled books on new processes in chromophotography.” | |
There are other possible forkings and continuations that occur | |
to the dream-mind, but these will do. |
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